From the album Murder Murder Murder
There was a thick set man with frog eyes
he was standing by the door
and the man with wing-nut ears
was waiting in the car
Robert Moore passed the frog-eyed man
as he walked into the bar,
Betty Coltrane she jumped under a table.
"What's your pleasure?" asked the barman
he had a face like boiled meat
"There's a girl called Betty Coltrane
that I have come to see"
"Well I ain't seen that girl 'round here
for more than a week"
Betty Coltrane she hid under the table.
Well, then in came a sailior with
mermaids tattooed on his arms,
Followed by the man with the wing-nut ears
who was waitin' in the car
Robert Moore sensed trouble,
he'd seen it comin' from afar
and Betty Coltrane she gasped under the table.
Well, the sailor said "I'm looking for my wife,
they call her Betty Coltrane!"
The frog-eyed man said "That can't be;
that's my wife's maiden name."
Well the man with the wing-nut ears said,
"Hey, I married her back in Spain!"
and Betty Coltrane she walked under the table.
Robert Moore he jumped up
said "That woman is my wife."
and he drew a silver pistol
and that wicked bowie knife;
And he shot the man with the wing-nut ears
straight between the eyes
and Betty Coltrane, crossed herself under the table.
The frog-eyed man jumped at Robert Moore,
who stabbed him in the chest
and as Mister Frog-eyes died he said
"Betty, you're the girl I loved best!"
The sailor pulled a razor,
Robert blasted him to bits
"And Betty, I know you're there under the table."
"Have no fear," said Robert Moore,
"No, I do not want to hurt you!"
"Never did a woman love me
half as much as you.
You are the blessed' sun,
and you are the sacred moon."
Betty shot his legs out from under the table.
Robert Moore, he went down heavy
with a crash upon the floor
and over his trashing body
Betty Coltrane she did crawl.
Put the gun to the back of head
Pulled the trigger once more
Blew his brains out all over the table.
Well Betty, she stood up
and she waved the smoke away.
Said, "I'm sorry Mr. Bar-man
to leave your place this way."
And then she emptied out their wallets
said, "I'll collect my severence pay."
and then she winked and threw a dollar on the table.